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Toomer's autobiographical narrative of her grueling early years into adulthood is at times downright harrowing. Yet, it is her ability to push through and keep pushing, particularly when she discovers her faith, that is beautiful. More than anything else, the author's text is a testament to the flawed nature of humanity. However, her journey also brings home the point that unwavering faith in the Lord can decipher even the most complex of life's codes.
What makes an individual keep going after their life has been upended by tragedy? In Toomer's case, she was a mere child who had just been delivered the news from her aunt that her father had been shot and killed over a five-dollar gambling bet. What ensues is heart-wrenching. Toomer, perceived as a liability, is assigned to stay with her aunt and uncle while all her siblings and mother relocate to Florida for work. Her mother establishes the tenor of the mother-daughter relationship right from the get-go, imbuing the author with a lack of self-worth that manifests itself in various forms throughout the story until she discovers the Lord's truth.
Written with the sole goal of telling her story—nothing more, nothing less—the narrative comes across as candid and genuine, a straightforward account documenting the author's lifetime of memories. Nevertheless, underlying themes permeate the work throughout. Chief among these is the idea of playing it safe. By not taking her to Florida, her mother played it safe. When Lizzie finds herself in a similar position to play it safe, she initially does so as well. However, deeper to the core is the idea that transitions can severely affect a child's growth. First, Lizzie is abandoned by her own family to live with her aunt and uncle. She is then removed from her hometown when her aunt and uncle (her guardians) move away to Indiana and away from everything familiar to her. Concepts like avoidance behaviors and living out one's fears are front and center in Lizzie's life, much as they were in her mother's. The one primary difference is Lizzie's entrance into the world of the divine.
While the first portion of the book narrates Lizzie's childhood, the latter half depicts her as a reasonably successful individual who has gained much in life and yet feels so empty that she needs to resort to men and alcohol to validate her worth. As the author's journey unfolds, it becomes representative of all humanity. What is revealed is that once an issue is deep-seated in the mind and body, whether that is one's upbringing as with the author or another moment of crisis and happenstance, it will not simply go away. Instead, as the author's experience reflects, it is in these moments that human beings must learn to ask God to remove the layers that have accumulated over time and assist with rediscovering their true selves. Overall, despite the darkness that the author endures, her emergence from it is true liberation, a victory her work illustrates that is not just for her but for all those who will walk down her path toward that same freedom from their insecurities and into God's light.