"I learned to love my gayness – my cross – because it allowed me access to my Eros, the fluids which flow within me, the creative part of me."

This beautifully written work stemming from the author's personal journals explores his family history, his fear of intimacy, and his commitment to Christ, God, and Catholicism. From a young boy to becoming a well-respected counselor, his focus is on the importance of the Church's need to accept LGBTQ people. He indicates he knew he was gay at a young age and how his family's non-acceptance of him impacted his life. He discusses going through reparative/conversion therapy, talks about being promiscuous, falling in love with Leo, and how the acceptance of Christ through his gayness was a turning point. Influenced by spiritual guides throughout his life, the journal recounts his many difficulties, such as thoughts of suicide and learning to accept himself.

The book reveals a refreshing, soul-searching honesty, as readers not only learn about his weaknesses and struggles for self-acceptance but also about how he was able to overcome the fears that had defined him as a gay man in the Catholic Church. Here is a man who survived the horrors of conversion therapy and was able to eventually accept himself through the love of his partner, Leo, and the love and compassion he felt from his own spirituality. It tells the tale of letting go of Church dogma and intolerance into the acceptance of the presence of the Cosmic Christ. This book is for all who have suffered through being hated and denigrated solely because of one's sexual orientation. It is also for those who need to understand a basic history of the LGBTQ community from the 1960s through the 1990s and those hurt by the Catholic Church's intolerance. It is an excellent, well-written read that comes across as honest, tender, and compassionate.

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