Malzon's life has been disrupted by a functional neurological disorder (FND), an affliction that often results in seizures. There seems to be no panacea for this condition, merely ways to help alleviate the symptoms. The author and her husband, Ron, decided a change of living environment might help, along with the medicine Malzon was taking. The journal the author began keeping was a way to chart seizure activity and determine if there were any triggers to the disruptive and often traumatic events. As the journal begins, Ron is attempting to have a cabin constructed in the secluded area of San Juan County, Washington. Malzon records the good, the bad, and the ugly with consistency, and the havoc caused by acute seizures resulting in blurred memories. While the journal spans nearly a year of pain, comfort, and unease, Malzon's determination to confront her disease is unquestioned.

The words are meant to chart her condition and any progress, but they also have therapeutic value. Exploring and sharing one's pain is both selfless and cathartic, and the author offers an absorbing firsthand account of an interminable, fraught struggle as she works to understand her brain to find peace with herself. While the journal is meant to be a creative outlet for the patient/author, it highlights both the ups and downs of a person attempting to reclaim agency of her life while contending with a debilitating neurological disorder. This is an at times poignant narrative that touches on multiple emotions, from frustration to grief to happiness, a first-person story about striving to come to grips with one's condition and possibly understand it. This book will resonate with a broad swath of readers, regardless of their health status.

RECOMMENDED by the US Review

A 2026 Eric Hoffer Book Award Category Finalist

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