In this intimate book, the author embarks on a journey to "understand better the events that had so dramatically transformed the optimistic and fearless young man" he had once been. What he shares in this book is his attempt to better reconcile with the "haunted and troubled veteran" he had become. After a generous donor offers to fund the author's return trip to Vietnam, the author begins the arduous task of planning the trip. From the cross-country trip from Florida to LAX, then from Tokyo onward to Ho Chi Minh City, the author details the intricate, complex emotions he feels upon his return. As he travels to Saigon, he carefully observes Vietnamese culture and what makes Vietnam a beautiful and alluring country. From humorous encounters with shoeshiners who insist on shining tennis shoes to emotional recollections about the war, this book guides its audience not only through some of Vietnam's most famous places and cities, but also through one man's journey to healing.

First and foremost, this book is written with keen attention to detail, openness, and honesty. The war's weight, nonetheless, and how each individual carries it differently, is paramount to this memoir. The author does not shy away from sharing jarring experiences that forever impacted him. The chapters explore the author's views about the war, what the Vietnamese learn about the war, and how America still discusses its involvement in Vietnam. He shares his recollections of missions like Operation Babylift, which sought to relocate orphans for adoption. Vulnerably, he shares, after recalling an incident at an orphanage, "Even after almost fifty years, it feels like it was yesterday when they died."

Making the author's experiences even more realistic for the book's audience are the many black-and-white photographs embedded in the chapters. These photographs breathe a different life into the memoir. These visuals also help individuals reading the book engage with it at a different emotional level. They see relics from museums and temples, and, more importantly, they see a modern Vietnam whose people smile and engage with tourists. Other photos, like those of punji stick traps, remind people about the many life-threatening hazards soldiers faced each and every day on their missions. These types of photographs, too, serve as reminders of war's brutality—a necessary message as numerous wars and conflicts threaten the globe today.

This memoir is another important contribution to the ever-growing canon of Vietnam War-focused literature being published. Its chapters are a testament to the importance of writing as a means of historical preservation, especially as the Vietnam War era and its socio-political legacy slip into the distant past. Moreover, the author's journey is a powerful testament to the necessity of travel in one's life, proving that travel, along with forgiveness and understanding, is an effective healer. For anyone interested in the Vietnam War and its aftermath, this book is a must-read. It is a unique examination of how an individual—and a nation—heal and move forward despite the pain and the scars that remain long after the battles and missions have ended.

Return to USR Home