"The loss of you in our lives, Nathan, was more like a hurricane force threatening to throw us off our spiritual course. However, with the peace of God in my heart and faith in his faithfulness, I know there are still good works for me to do here on earth."

This is a mother’s creative memorial to her son, Nathan, who died in 1992 not long before his ninth birthday, with no forewarning, from a twisted blood vessel in his abdomen. About a year later, the author, a nurse practitioner and educator, wrote down a phrase that reminded her of him: "Mom, remember when I could travel so fast on my bike...? Now I can think myself to Mars!" This "Remember when/Now I…” format became the basis of poems about Nathan’s impact on the family while alive and after he passed on. Walker "talks" to Nathan as she writes, assuming he is in heaven, can “see” and “hear” her, and will be there waiting for her when she dies. She tells Nathan about the later death of his father and her own recent struggles with recovering from an auto accident. Among her poems and spiritual reflections she has placed her husband's poems, revealing his private search for the meaning of his son's death.
Now retired from her nursing career, Walker still seeks comfort and comprehension by analyzing Nathan's life, death, and afterlife. Her poetry underscores her conviction that he is "in the arms of Jesus," and swims "in the river of life." In her journal entries, the author copes with life’s pains by ascribing deeper meaning. Once, stopping in the desert after driving the wrong way, she speaks to her son, alluding to Biblical verses in which the desert is an allegory for our earthly journey. Though not a practiced writer when she began her book, the author grows into the role, offering poignant insights. A book for people experiencing loss, and especially the loss of a child, Now I Can Think Myself to Mars is a gentle guidebook, presenting new paths to process their experience. 

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